How to make a good apology

如何诚恳道歉

常速 | 五级（中等）| 350词 | 2min6s

刘立军供稿

Part I. QUESTIONS

Listen to the news and choose the best answer to each question you hear.

Q1. According to Dr. Aaron Lazare, why is it sometimes better to say, “There’s no excuse for my behaviour”?  

A. It helps the apologiser avoid explaining their actions.  

B. It shows a deeper understanding of the offence committed.  

C. It prevents the recipient from feeling manipulated.  

D. It simplifies the apology process for both parties.  

Q2. What can be inferred about the importance of making amends in apologies?  

A. It is only necessary for physical damages caused.  

B. It is less important than expressing remorse.  

C. It ensures the recipient forgives the apologiser.  

D. It demonstrates the apologiser’s commitment to change.  

Q3. What does the study “Do sincere apologies need to be costly?” suggest about the relationship between effort and apology effectiveness?  

A. Apologies are effective only if they involve financial compensation.  

B. Effort is irrelevant to the perceived sincerity of apologies.  

C. Increased effort makes apologies appear more genuine.  

D. Longer apologies are more effective than shorter ones.  

Q4. What does the study “Sorries seem to have the harder words” imply about the use of language in apologies?  

A. Complex language makes apologies more sincere.  

B. Apologies should avoid using longer words.  

C. Shorter words are perceived as more apologetic.  

D. Language choice has no impact on apology effectiveness.  

Q5. What is the main idea of the text?  

A. Apologies are more effective when they involve inconvenience to the apologiser.  

B. Genuine apologies require acknowledgment, explanation, remorse, and amends.  

C. Forgiveness is a choice that cannot be forced upon the recipient.  

D. Longer words in apologies make them appear more sincere to recipients.  

Part II. TRANSCRIPT

How to make a good apology

Apologising is one of the first relationship skills we’re taught as children. “Say sorry to your friend for stealing his toy”, “Apologise to your mother for being so rude!” Children often apologise because they are told to by adults, regardless of whether they mean it, and the recipient is often told to forgive, regardless of whether they feel it. But the skill of making a heartfelt, genuine apology must grow as we become adults if we want to nurture healthy relationships.

recipient n. 接受者，收件人  

nurture v. 培养，养育  

Dr. Aaron Lazare, psychiatrist and apology expert, says a good apology should have four elements. The first is to acknowledge the offence and admit that you have wronged someone. (Q1) Next, there’s an opportunity to explain what happened, without excusing yourself – in fact, it’s sometimes best to simply say, “There’s no excuse for my behaviour.” The third step is to express remorse and show that you understand how the behaviour has impacted the other person. (Q2) Lastly, offer to make amends. If the mistake involved physical damage, have it repaired. If it involved emotional pain, promise to be more sensitive in the future.

remorse n. 懊悔，悔恨  

make amends: 补偿

(Q3) Research shows that an apology is more effective when it is more costly to the apologiser, whether that’s in terms of money, effort or time. For example, a study called “Do sincere apologies need to be costly?” found people were more convinced by an apology if the apologiser had to inconvenience themself in order to deliver the apology. For example, if that person made a journey to say sorry, rather than just waiting for the next meetup. (Q4) A 2025 study called “Sorries seem to have the harder words”, found that people use longer words when apologising than when they’re not apologising. It also found that people perceived apologies with longer words as more apologetic than apologies with shorter words.

So, be sincere and own your mistakes, remembering that forgiveness can’t be forced – the other person has the freedom to forgive or not to forgive. But what’s better: harbouring guilt for the rest of your life, or taking that weight off your shoulders?

harbor v. 心怀，怀有（情感或想法）

Part III. KEY

Q1. B.【解析】细节题。根据“Next, there’s an opportunity to explain what happened, without excusing yourself – in fact, it’s sometimes best to simply say, ‘There’s no excuse for my behaviour.’ ”，可知直接说“我的行为没有任何借口”，这样的表达能够表明自己不会找借口开脱，对自己冒犯行为有了更深刻的的理解。因此正确答案为B。

Q2. D.【解析】推理题。根据“Lastly, offer to make amends. If the mistake involved physical damage, have it repaired. If it involved emotional pain, promise to be more sensitive in the future.”，可知最后是提出弥补。如果错误涉及物理损坏，请进行修复。如果涉及情感伤害，请承诺未来会更加注意。这表明，弥补行为代表道歉者愿意做出改变、承担责任，而不是仅仅停留在口头上。因此正确答案为D。

Q3. C.【解析】细节题。根据“Research shows that an apology is more effective when it is more costly to the apologiser, ... people were more convinced by an apology if the apologiser had to inconvenience themself in order to deliver the apology.”，可知研究表明，当道歉者付出更多代价时，无论是金钱、努力还是时间，道歉都会更有效。如果道歉者为了表达歉意而不得不给自己带来不便，人们会更容易被道歉说服。因此可以得出结论，道歉付出的时间、精力、麻烦越多会让道歉显得更真诚。因此正确答案为C。

Q4. A.【解析】细节题。根据“A 2025 study called 'Sorries seem to have the harder words', found that people use longer words when apologising than when they're not apologising. It also found that people perceived apologies with longer words as more apologetic than apologies with shorter words.”，可知研究发现，人们在道歉时使用的词汇比不道歉时更长，并且人们认为使用较长词汇的道歉比使用较短词汇的道歉更有歉意。由此可以推断，复杂的语言会让道歉显得更真诚。因此正确答案为A。

Q5. B.【解析】主旨题。整篇文章的核心内容是讨论如何诚恳地道歉，并详细介绍了诚恳道歉的四个关键步骤：第一步是承认过错；第二步是不要为自己找借口；第三步是表达悔意；最后，提出弥补。因此，文章的核心内容是关于真诚道歉的四个关键步骤，正确答案为B。

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