Is Social Media Killing True Friendship?

社交媒体是否在“杀死”真正的友谊？

词汇：CET-4/ 句法：高考/ 文本：CET-4

徐媛供稿

The world is experiencing a loneliness epidemic. How strange, because we have so many new ways to be in touch with the people that we love. We can move away and still see their faces. Why is it that we’re actually getting lonelier?

世界正经历着一场孤独流行病。多么奇怪啊！我们有这么多新的方式来与我们所爱的人保持联系。我们即使远在他方，也仍然可以看到他们的面孔。但为什么我们会变得越来越孤独呢？

Well, the answer to that question is that the way that we stay in touch with each other is inadequate to what our brains and hearts need. Social media has changed the way that we pursue friendship.

好吧，这个问题的答案在于我们彼此保持联系的方式，它并不能满足我们的大脑和心灵所需。社交媒体改变了我们追求友情的方式。

A lot of young people feel uncomfortable in real life. It doesn’t feel right to see people in person. It might feel confrontational. It might feel like you have some sort of performance anxiety. More and more young people, they’re comfortable talking to other people as long as it’s mediated technologically.

许多年轻人一到现实生活，就感到不适。面对面见面，对他们来说，似乎不太对劲。这可能会让他们感到咄咄逼人，或者产生类似表演焦虑的感觉。越来越多的年轻人，只要与他人通过技术媒介进行交流，他们就会感到舒适。

There’s a neuropeptide in the human brain called “oxytocin.” That’s the intensely pleasurable hormone that links us to our kin, to our friends, to our loved ones, to our families. But you don’t get it over Zoom screens and even less over social media. And so you’ll be hungry, you’ll be lonely, and so you’ll binge even more on the social media, and it’ll get worse and worse and worse.

人脑中有一种神经肽叫做“催产素”。这是一种令人极度愉悦的激素，它使我们与亲人、朋友、爱人以及家人紧密相连。但是你无法通过Zoom这个会议软件的屏幕或社交媒体获得它。所以你会感到饥渴，感到孤独，于是你会更加沉迷于社交媒体，而这只会让情况变得越来越糟。

That’s a lot of the reason that we have a loneliness epidemic. We’re trying to mediate our relationships with tools that don’t do a good job.

这就是我们经历孤独流行病的一大原因。我们试图用并不管用的工具来维系人际关系。

Oxytocin requires two things: eye contact and touch. Those are exactly the two things that you don’t get when your relationships are mediated by technology.

催产素需要两个条件：眼神交流和触碰。当你的人际关系由技术媒介来维系时，恰恰缺少的就是这两个要素。

So the best way that you can get oxytocin, and thus the satisfaction that you need from your relationships, has to be somebody who’s a real person with you. Touch their hand, look them in the eye. Your brain needs it. Your brain craves it.

因此，获得催产素的最佳方式，以及你需要从人际关系中获得的满足感，必须是与一个真实的人相处。握住他们的手，看着他们的眼睛。你的大脑需要这些。你的大脑渴望这些。

That’s how your brain’s evolved. Real life is awesome, but you have to experience it, and you can’t be distracted from it systematically by these technological methods.

这就是你的大脑进化出来的结果。现实生活很棒，但你必须去体验它，你不能被这些技术手段系统性地分散了注意力。

So a natural question that comes from all of this is: What should we do with social media? Should we have a complete ban on it in our lives? Should we make it impossible for our kids to use?

由此引发的一个自然而然的问题是：我们应该如何对待社交媒体？我们应该在我们的生活中彻底禁止它吗？我们应该杜绝孩子使用它吗？

The answer to that is not necessarily. Here’s the iron rule: If something is a substitute for in real-life relationships, it’s going to be bad for your happiness. If something is a complement to it, it can be really productive and good.
答案不一定如此。这里有一个铁律：如果某样东西是现实生活关系的替代品，那么它会对你的幸福造成不良影响。如果某样东西是现实生活关系的补充，那么它可以是非常有益且富有成效的。

So how do you use social media? That’s what really matters. Do you use social media to figure out where you’re going to meet your friends and what they’re up to so you can go see them?

因此你打算如何使用社交媒体呢？这才是真正重要的。你是用社交媒体来确定与朋友们见面的地点和了解他们的近况，以便你能去看望他们吗？

Great, but that doesn’t take very long. You don’t need six hours on Wechat to do that. What you need is a specific period of time that you dedicate to actually catching up with the people in your life that you love.

很好，但这不需要花很久。你不需要花六个小时在微信上来做这件事。你需要的是一个特定的时间段，用来真正与你生活中所爱的人好好聊聊。

【词汇】

1. epidemic n. 流行病，传染病
2. confrontational adj. 对抗性的，挑起冲突的
3. mediate v. 调节，影响
4. neuropeptide n. 神经肽
5. oxytocin n. 催产素
6. hormone n. 荷尔蒙
7. kin n. 家属，亲戚
8. binge v. 放纵，不加节制
9. the iron rule 铁律
10. complement n. 衬托物，补足物

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