情商
Emotional Intelligence
刘立军 供稿
u TRANSCRIPT
Now let’s take a look at some ways in which we can increase the levels of our own emotional intelligence so that employers will be fighting over us!
The first step is to label our own feelings rather than labelling situations or other people. We should say things like “I feel angry” instead of “This is a ridiculous situation”.
Secondly, it is very important to know the difference between a thought and a feeling. In terms of language, we express thoughts by saying “I feel like” or “I feel as if”, but for feelings we say “I feel” and then a feeling word, an adjective ― happy, angry, frustrated.
Next ― and this is a crucial point ― we should take more responsibility for our feelings. Instead of saying “You are making me jealous”, we ought to say “I feel jealous”.
After this we need to learn how to use our feelings to help us make decisions. Ask yourselves “How will I feel if I do this?” or “How will I feel if I don’t?” Another important issue here is respect. We have to respect the feelings of others. We should ask ourselves questions like “How will this person feel if I do this?”
And of course it isn’t enough to just respect the feelings of others. We have to show others that we care. We do this through empathy and understanding. And we should accept people’s feelings. They are just as valid as our own.
Then we come to energy. We need to turn anger into energy and use it to take action ― productive action, that is.
Finally, after getting used to understanding and analyzing our emotions, we should practice getting a positive value from them. Ask yourselves “How do I feel and what could help me feel better?” and don’t forget those around you ― “How do you feel?” and “What would help you feel better?”
To sum up, I am going to leave you with two pieces of advice. Don’t criticize, advise, control or lecture others. Just listen with empathy and in a non-judgmental way.
And what about people who invalidate you? Easy ― avoid them. And when it isn’t possible to avoid them altogether, try to spend less time with them and don’t let them get to you.
Follow this advice and I am sure that you will soon increase your EQ level. You will feel happier and more positive and hopefully this will rub off on those around you.
u VOCABULARY
1. fight over: 争夺
2. invalidate v. to deny, reject or dismiss someone’s feelings 否认、拒绝或忽视（某人的感受）
3. rub off: (of personal qualities, behavior, opinions, etc.) to become part of a person’s character as a result of that person spending time with sb. who has those qualities, etc. 感染；传给。例如：Her sense of fun has rubbed off on her children. 她的幽默感已经传给了她的孩子。
uQUESTIONS
TASK 1: 填空
Read the passage. Then listen to the news and fill in the blanks with the information (words, phrases or sentences) you hear.
Now let’s take a look at some ways in which we can increase the levels of our own (Q1) ____________ so that employers will be fighting over us!
The first step is to (Q2) _________________________ rather than labelling situations or other people. We should say things like “I feel angry” instead of “This is a ridiculous situation”.
Secondly, it is very important to (Q3) ___________________________________________. In terms of language, we express thoughts by saying “I feel like” or “I feel as if”, but for feelings we say “I feel” and then a feeling word, an adjective ― happy, angry, frustrated.
Next ― and this is a crucial point ― we should (Q4) _______________________________. Instead of saying “You are making me jealous”, we ought to say “I feel jealous”.
After this we need to learn (Q5) ______________________________________________. Ask yourselves “How will I feel if I do this?” or “How will I feel if I don’t?” Another important issue here is respect. We have to respect the feelings of others. We should ask ourselves questions like “How will this person feel if I do this?”
And of course it isn’t enough to just respect the feelings of others. We have to (Q6) ________________. We do this through empathy and understanding. And we should accept people’s feelings. They are just as valid as our own.
Then we come to energy. We need to turn anger into energy and use it to take action ― productive action, that is.
Finally, after getting used to understanding and analyzing our emotions, we should practice (Q7) ________________________ from them. Ask yourselves “How do I feel and what could help me feel better?” and don’t forget those around you ― “How do you feel?” and “What would help you feel better?”
To sum up, I am going to leave you with two pieces of advice. Don’t criticize, advise, control or lecture others. Just listen with (Q8) _________________ and in a non-judgmental way.
And what about people who invalidate you? Easy ― (Q9) ________________ them. And when it isn’t possible to avoid them altogether, try to spend less time with them and don’t let them get to you.
Follow this advice and I am sure that you will soon increase your EQ level. You will feel happier and more (Q10) _______________ and hopefully this will rub off on those around you.
TASK 2: 选择
Choose the best answer.
1. What is the first step in increasing emotional intelligence?
A. Labeling situations or other people.
B. Expressing thoughts with feeling words.
C. Saying things like “I feel angry” instead of “This is a ridiculous situation”.
D. Taking responsibility for others’ feelings.
2. How do we express thoughts in terms of language?
A. Saying “I feel like” or “I feel as if”.
B. Using feeling words followed by an adjective.
C. Asking ourselves questions about our feelings.
D. Showing empathy and understanding.
3. What is an important issue when using our feelings to make decisions?
A. Respecting the feelings of others.
B. Expressing thoughts with feeling words.
C. Taking responsibility for others’ feelings.
D. Showing empathy and understanding.
4. How should we handle anger according to the passage?
A. Turn it into energy and use it for productive action
B. Criticize, advise, control, or lecture others
C. Avoid people who invalidate us
D. Spend less time with those who invalidate us and don’t let them affect us
5. What should we do to get a positive value from our emotions?
A. Criticize, advise, control, or lecture others.
B. Avoid people who invalidate us.
C. Ask ourselves how we feel and what could help us feel better.
D. Spend less time with those who dismiss our feelings.
u KEY
TASK 1: 填空
Read the passage. Then listen to the news and fill in the blanks with the information (words, phrases or sentences) you hear.
Now let’s take a look at some ways in which we can increase the levels of our own (Q1) emotional intelligence so that employers will be fighting over us!
The first step is to (Q2) label our own feelings rather than labelling situations or other people. We should say things like “I feel angry” instead of “This is a ridiculous situation”.
Secondly, it is very important to (Q3) know the difference between a thought and a feeling. In terms of language, we express thoughts by saying “I feel like” or “I feel as if”, but for feelings we say “I feel” and then a feeling word, an adjective ― happy, angry, frustrated.
Next ― and this is a crucial point ― we should (Q4) take more responsibility for our feelings. Instead of saying “You are making me jealous”, we ought to say “I feel jealous”.
After this we need to learn (Q5) how to use our feelings to help us make decisions. Ask yourselves “How will I feel if I do this?” or “How will I feel if I don’t?” Another important issue here is respect. We have to respect the feelings of others. We should ask ourselves questions like “How will this person feel if I do this?”
And of course it isn’t enough to just respect the feelings of others. We have to (Q6) show others that we care. We do this through empathy and understanding. And we should accept people’s feelings. They are just as valid as our own.
Then we come to energy. We need to turn anger into energy and use it to take action ― productive action, that is.
Finally, after getting used to understanding and analyzing our emotions, we should practice (Q7) getting a positive value from them. Ask yourselves “How do I feel and what could help me feel better?” and don’t forget those around you ― “How do you feel?” and “What would help you feel better?”
To sum up, I am going to leave you with two pieces of advice. Don’t criticize, advise, control or lecture others. Just listen with (Q8) empathy and in a non-judgmental way.
And what about people who invalidate you? Easy ― (Q9) avoid them. And when it isn’t possible to avoid them altogether, try to spend less time with them and don’t let them get to you.
Follow this advice and I am sure that you will soon increase your EQ level. You will feel happier and more (Q10) positive and hopefully this will rub off on those around you.
TASK 2: 选择
Choose the best answer.
1. What is the first step in increasing emotional intelligence?
A. Labeling situations or other people.
B. Expressing thoughts with feeling words.
C. Saying things like “I feel angry” instead of “This is a ridiculous situation”.
D. Taking responsibility for others’ feelings.
【答案】C
【解析】文章第二段提到的第一步是用自己的情感标签来描述自己的感受，而不是将情境或他人标签化。因此，选项C是正确答案，它与文章中的建议相符。
2. How do we express thoughts in terms of language?
A. Saying “I feel like” or “I feel as if”.
B. Using feeling words followed by an adjective.
C. Asking ourselves questions about our feelings.
D. Showing empathy and understanding.
【答案】A
【解析】文章第三段中提到了在语言表达中，我们用“I feel like”或“I feel as if”来表示思想。因此，选项A是正确答案。
3. What is an important issue when using our feelings to make decisions?
A. Respecting the feelings of others.
B. Expressing thoughts with feeling words.
C. Taking responsibility for others’ feelings.
D. Showing empathy and understanding.
【答案】A
【解析】文章第五段中提到了在使用自己的感觉来帮助做决策时，尊重他人的感受很重要。因此，选项A是正确答案。
4. How should we handle anger according to the passage?
A. Turn it into energy and use it for productive action.
B. Criticize, advise, control, or lecture others.
C. Avoid people who invalidate us.
D. Spend less time with those who invalidate us and don’t let them affect us.
【答案】A
【解析】文章倒数第五段中提到了将愤怒转化为能量并将其用于积极的行动。因此，选项A是正确答案。
5. What should we do to get a positive value from our emotions?
A. Criticize, advise, control, or lecture others.
B. Avoid people who invalidate us.
C. Ask ourselves how we feel and what could help us feel better.
D. Spend less time with those who dismiss our feelings.
【答案】C
【解析】文章倒数第四段中提到了从我们的情感中获取积极价值的方法是问自己感受如何以及什么可以帮助我们感觉更好。因此，选项C是正确答案。
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