Baseball fans are gearing up for the World Series, but we all know what's the real national pastime: complaining. Could you go without griping about anything for a day? For a week?
棒球迷们正在翘首以待即将到来的世界职业棒球大赛,但我们大家都清楚美国真正的全国性休闲方式是什么:发牢骚。你能不能一整天都不发一句牢骚?整整一周昵?
A couple of editors at Slate's Double X women' s site are trying to go a whole month without complaining. Both Jessica Grose, managing editor, and Hanna Rosin, founding editor, say on the site that they've grown concerned about over-relying on complaints in getting through their juggles (Ms. Grose is newly engaged, Ms. Rosin married with three young children). Over the course of their efforts, the two realize how much of their interactions with friends and colleagues are based on the common currency of complaining.
女性网站Slate's Double X的几个编辑正在尝试整整一个月都不抱怨。主编杰西卡·格罗斯和创始人兼编辑汉娜·罗森在网站上说,她们越来越担心自己需要过度依赖诉苦的发泄方式才能渡过难关。(杰西卡最近刚刚订婚,汉娜则是有三个小孩的已婚妈妈。) 在体味人生酸甜苦辣的过程中,她们俩都意识到,自己与朋友同事之间的很多沟通都是以发牢骚为主的。
Ms. Grose recounts a recent pleasant drive during which she realized she was enjoying a good moment in her life and had nothing to complain about which led to "a twinge of panic" at the very fact of having nothing to complain about. "This shining moment of whine-free living made me realize how much kvetching I do on a daily basis. If I am honest with myself, I would estimate that about 70% of the things that come out of my mouth are gripes. Good-natured, often, but still nonessential and sometimes obnoxious to others."
杰西卡回忆起最近一次愉快的驾车旅途,她发现那是自己人生中一段美好的时光,根本没什么可抱怨的——于这一事实,她居然感觉到"一阵恐慌"。她说:“这种无可抱怨的美好时光让我意识到,自己平时的生活都是在牢骚满腹中度过的。凭心而论,我估计自己嘴里说出来的话有70%左右都是在发牢骚。这种抱怨往往没有恶意,但还是属于可有可无,有时还会让别人感到厌烦。”
So Ms. Grose decides to "try to stop complaining entirely about small things and quit excessively complaining about the bigger ones," for a month. She enlists her boss, Ms. Rosin, in the effort to reach a state of more "mindful complaining," as Ms. Rosin terms it.
因此,杰西卡决定在一个月内,“试着完全停止对琐事的抱怨,并对更重要一些的事情也尽量不去大发牢骚。”她把自己的老板汉娜也拉进来,以汉娜的话来说,这是为了“互相监督”。
Ms. Rosin relates her own tale of addiction to complaints: After she griped about keeping up with her children's complex schedule of after-school activities, her husband made up a weekly schedule and posted it on the fridge. "I nearly killed him. Honestly, it was our most dramatic marital fight to date. Why was I angry with him? It took me a few days to figure it out. Because by helping to solve the problem, he had robbed me of my God-given right to complain."
汉娜也谈到自己发牢骚上瘾的故事:她抱怨自己很难跟得上几个孩子错综复杂的校外兴趣活动安排,于是她丈夫做了一张每周活动日程表,贴在冰箱门上。“为这事儿,我差点宰了他。说实话,这是我们结婚来吵得最凶的一次。可我为什么这么生气?过好几天后我才想明白:因为他帮我解决了问题,但同时也剥夺了我天经地义的发牢骚的权利。”
I certainly join Ms. Grose and Ms. Rosin in spending a fair amount of time complaining, especially at work. (As we've written about before, at some workplaces, people end up spending more time kvetching about work than actually working.) Most of our gripes there these days center on our new publishing system, which remains a bit buggy after five months of use. But there's some modest enjoyment in commiserating about an experience we're all going through together, and for the most part I'm fortunate not to have truly awful work woes to complain about, my co-workers are talented and conscientious,and the section we produce is something we can be proud of.
和杰西卡与汉娜一样,我也经常发牢骚,特别是上班的时候。(我以前也在文章里写到过,在有些办公场所,人们抱怨工作的时间比真正工作的时间还要多。)最近,我们对工作的抱怨大多数都集中在新开发的编辑系统上,因为经过五个月的使用后,系统似乎还有些小问题。不过,在对一种共同经历发牢骚时,确实有一种隐约的快感;而我算是幸运的,因为基本上没有真正意义上的工作难题需要抱怨一我的同事们既有才华、人又好,我们共同开发出来的内容板块也令大家感到自豪。
I have few serious complaints at home, either. We have the usual little squalls, but my wife and I often remark how much we enjoy our children, our friends and each other. I try to look on the bright said most of the time, so I feel like whatever complaining I do isn't a debilitating problem in need of aggressive correction.
我在家也很少真正抱怨什么。我和妻子有时也拌几句嘴,但经常的话题是谈孩子和朋友们的趣事,以及对彼此的喜爱。大多数时候,我都试着乐观处事,因此并不觉得自己偶尔发牢骚是一个急需改正的坏毛病。
How about for you? What are the sources of your biggest complaints? Do you think you complain too much at home or at work, and could you see making a concerted effort over some period of time to cut back? Do you think you could go on a complaint fast?
你的情况如何?抱怨最多的事情是什么?你觉得自己在家或上班时抱怨过多吗?能不能在一段时间内有意识地控制自己少发牢骚?能不能把少发牢骚这个“封口令”进行到底?