More often than not, the things you tell yourself and any unhealthy beliefs that you’ve ‘bought into’ are untrue. At times, we all experience these ‘cognitive distortions,’ but the trick to not giving into these negative beliefs is learning to recognize the lies you tell yourself, and training yourself to replace them with positive, more realistic thoughts. However, retraining your mind isn’t always easy. That’s because your brain will try to keep you in your comfort zone. It will underestimate you, hold you back, and try to fill you with doubt. It’s difficult to let these beliefs go, but continuing to believe them will drain you mentally and emotionally – and will stop you from being your best self. So here is a list of lies you need to stop telling yourself.

No matter how positive or confident you are, this thought has undoubtedly crossed your mind at one point or another. This lie can invade any aspect of your life, and it can lead you to believe that you’re not good enough – physically, mentally, or emotionally – breaking down your self-worth. Believing that you’re not good enough or smart enough to do something often makes you not even want to try, because you don’t see the point in the inevitable failure. It will stop you from putting in the effort needed to reach your goals.

Every situation has a silver lining or a lesson that can be learned from it – though some people are too busy worrying about the problem to ever see it. Being upset over something you don’t have or didn’t get is only a waste of time and stops you from seeing what you do have. The happiest people aren’t necessarily the extremely fortunate or rich ones. It’s those who see the positivity and potential in what they already have and make the most of every opportunity that comes their way.

Don’t let someone else’s negative experience stop you from going after what you want. Follow your heart and take risks. Don’t stick with the safe and easy choices just because you’re afraid of taking a leap of faith. Your dreams are not impossible, and they should be bigger than your fears. Sticking to your vision will eventually lead to progress and yield the results you desire.

Your life is precious and too short not to look out for yourself. Have enough self-respect and self-love to distance yourself from those who constantly mistreat you and bring you down. It may be tough, and hurt for a while, but everything will be okay. More importantly, you’ll be okay. Walking away from a bad situation doesn’t make you weak; it makes you strong. Leaving means acknowledging that it’s not about ‘them seeing your worth,’ but you realizing ‘your own worth.’

There are people who are meant to be in your life, and people who aren’t, but that doesn’t make any failed relationship a ‘waste.’ Even if it was awful and wasn’t what you wanted at all, at least you learned what you don’t want. You shouldn’t force people to stay in your life. If they know your worth and want you in their lives, they’ll make space for you.

Rarely is life a smooth sail – it has ups and downs. And part of living is experiencing setbacks, negative emotions, and making mistakes. What dictates the kind of person you become, however, is not the problems you face, but how you deal with them and learn from them. When it seems like all hope is lost, you’ve got to remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Today may be the absolute worst day of your life, but tomorrow could be the best – you’ve just got to get there.

Sometimes, it takes failing over and over again to finally succeed. Everyone makes mistakes, and progress can be slow, but ‘trying and failing’ is always better than not trying at all. Don’t beat yourself up or focus too much on your failures or mistakes, you could end up missing the opportunity to succeed. Whatever ideas you had that ‘didn’t work out’ are just paving the path for the idea that ‘will eventually work.’ It’s okay to stumble or fall, but you have to get up and try again. Remember, when one door closes, another opens, but you have to be there to seize the opportunity.

Wanting to improve yourself is good, but it can be unhealthy if you push yourself too hard without any rest. A lot of people even feel guilty for taking a little ‘me time.’ But the truth is, no one is exempt from needing time just to exist. So don’t think that it’s wrong to take a break now and then. Growth and learning can be found in those quiet times as well.

You are defined by the choices you make. Your life is yours to live, and nobody else can save you or live it for you. And unless you were born rich or marry rich, there’s probably not going to be a lot of handouts coming your way. Nobody knows exactly what you think or want – except you, and nobody will be as upset as you if you don’t achieve your goals. So don’t depend on someone else to build your dreams for you. Be the creator of your own happiness, and take responsibility for your past and the present to create the future you want.

Everyone screws up sometimes, and we’ve all been hurt in some way, been taken advantage of, or have accepted less than we deserve. But you shouldn’t regret any of it, as every negative situation is a chance to learn something and they help us make better choices the next time. You learn who you can trust, what you want in a friendship or relationship, how to read people and to detect insincerity. You figure out who you are and how to be yourself, and most importantly, to appreciate the good things in your life.

Unfortunately, not all friendships last. People and mindsets change – and life happens. Some relationships fizzle out while others grow stronger. Appreciate and look forward to the possibility of new relationships while you move away from the ones that just aren’t working out anymore. Embrace the newness of unfamiliar territory. Be open to a challenge and to welcome new people. You never know, someone might just change your life forever!

Even good relationships have to be let go of sometimes, but don’t spend all of your time mourning them. Instead, be thankful that you had the chance to meet at all, and that you brought joy to each other – even if it was only for a short time. Change is a part of life, and people come and go – some stay, some leave, and that’s okay. Just because one person walks out of your life doesn’t mean you should forget about those who are still there. Smile, laugh and cry over the memories while you continue to appreciate the people still with you.

Spending all your time squeezing yourself in a box – trying to fit in – is a waste of energy and stops you from reaching your true potential. Standing out isn’t a bad thing, and you might not be as different or weird as you think. Use your unique qualities to your advantage – to help you become successful and the best you can be!

Thinking you don’t have time prevents you from taking chances. It allows you to put the important stuff off until you really don’t have time. If something is important to you, you should try to make time for it. Just changing the way you think about these things is beneficial. Merely thinking about something important that’s worth spending time on can encourage you to actually get it done.

No matter how tough a situation may seem, you always have choices. And while you might feel overwhelmed or not brave enough to consider them all, you always have options to choose from. To help you make the right choice, you can think about what advice you would give to a friend in a similar situation, or what someone you admire would do. Take this into account and see if you can do the same.

When people look back, they often regret the things they didn’t do, much more than the things they did. It’s better to look back on your life in awe – at how exciting it was, instead of thinking about the ‘what-ifs’ and ‘what could have been.’ Maybe that means you’ll make a few mistakes and wrong decisions along the way, but it’s better than having regrets and broken dreams later. 

Perhaps not all of these lies apply to you, but surely, there are a few you can relate to. Leave a comment and let us know!